As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
It occurs to me in a lengthy in depth search of my mind, that no one has ever issued a decree, proclamation or handbook, concerning the use of boogers. Miss Manners has not delved into this subject and of course one can not find any finishing school on the subject of these ignored salty tidbits, so it befalls to the Lame Cherry in setting the record straight on boogers.
The booger is a hardened mucous secretion formed in the nasal passage for those who do not know. For the purpose of the more refined exploration of this, we will refer to boogers from this point on in the same way that honeycomb is a hardened manifestation of honey, and as no one refers to honeycomb as Bee Boogers, there of course should not be a stigma attached to boogers, which now will be refered to as Boogercomb.
And what is honey, but a secretion of bees from pollen and as snot or mucous is but a human secretion due to mixing with pollen, of course we now can remove the stigma and the distasteful stereotype that human mucous is snot, but let us all rise to the occasion in comprehending that snot is but human honey secretions, so from herein snot will be refered to as Humoney.
My first experience was with Boogercomb in school, where I found deposits of it under desks of school children. This all took place in ignorant parents demanding their children not eat Boogercomb, where as the children did not have Kleenex which has made a fortune from wasting Boogercomb from the diet, it has been left to become Jerky Booger on the bottom of desks as amusing play toys for bored children in classroom.
We need to understand this from the Boogercomb afficiendo, as while no one likes eating snot or Humoney, there is a real market for Boogercomb.
Boogercomb comes in three types:
Type 1: The wet stringy taffy type, which is defined as Booger Taffy.
Type 2: The nice formed and chewy type, which is defined as Booger Chew.
Type 3: The well seasoned crunch type, which is defined as Booger Jerky.
Each person has individual tastes like eggs in some prefer poached soupy eggs, some prefer sunny side up and some prefer hard boiled. It is just human taste and as eggs are nothing more than mucous secretions from the ovaries and reproductive system of chickens, and as no one has a problem with that as much as eating the reproductive discharge of vegetables and fruits known as lettuce to apples, the Boogercomb can now take it's place in the realm of non stigmatized foods.
Boogercomb is quite healthful as combination of food groups. They are naturally salty, unlike the peanut or popcorn, so no one has to bring a salt shaker to flavor this delicacy of the human nostril.
Being the result of a reaction to human allergens in the host, the consuming and digestion of Boogercomb would aid in the treatment of allergies in the immune system of the body would naturally react to the offending matter housed in the Boogercomb.
Providing Boogercomb is not contaminated with rabies, ebola or the plague, it is as safe and nutricious as any other product from orange juice to tomatoe juice, which are nothing but snot secretions from fruits and vegetables.
The wonder about Boogercomb, is that it does not rot. There is no bacteria which renders it unwholesome. It simply will remain in state forever. The Boogercomb in the tombs of Egyptian mummies would be as delightful today as it was in the day of King Tut. Oh what a treat that would be to after a nice Vegan salad to offer up to your guests some of King Tut's Boogercomb as a delicacy instead of caviar, which again is a secretion from female fish in their reproductive tract.
The nice thing about Boogercomb is it is completely Vegan and Vegetarian. It exploits no animals, and it is a non meat, fish, dairy or animal product. Vegans and Vegetarians could indulge in this of their own manufacture, and think of it as the "new bacon", because it is naturally salted, and all that would be required is a good hickory smoke to make this new culinary delight of Boogerbacon, the other white meat.
Boogercomb does come in different colors, but is non racist. It is clear, it is yellow and it is green in the healthful forms. As the black form is pneumonia or blood, everyone knows by instinct to stay away from black things as nature points to that color as a danger to all in once you had black, you never go back, as you are dead from food poisoning.
I sincerely hope this disceration upon Booger Etiquette has removed all the stereotypes and stigma from the consuming of this delicacy, and to understand the nuances and the complete culinary palate which is discerning in this taste as any fruit juice, caviar or yes, morel, as all know that the mushroom is nothing but an earth booger, and in fine restaraunts earth boogers abound in so many different varieties as human boogers do.
So let us all join to the new healthful cause of Boogercomb, where honeycomb is sweet, the Boogercomb is nature's natural salt balance for a delightful taste treat.
This really should be marketed as an E Bookas the first in a series of the 21st Century Etiquette of Humankind.
Some kind person complimented me about "my mind" and followed with.......Good Lord.
*I was just pondering in Henry pig nose Waxman, Democrat California, should be mined for Boogercomb as his deposits must yield a Doritos size bag a day. Could we not all join in this, in making it mandatory that those blessed with large nasal cavities be made in retirement or as blacks in welfare, daily have have a Booger Bus arrive and take them to a Booger Drive Center, like for blood donations where this delicacy could be recycled and not wasted, as a way to repay the world for all the benefits being received in entitlements.
Perhaps there is finally a use for all those 50 million Mexicans after all......their noses are petite, but they do have large hombre nostrils. Yes Boogercomb mining. Let the run wild and free, but chase them down with pick up trucks, throw a bolo on them and remove the boogers, and let them off to graze again for the next harvest.......sort of like pearls in a humane way.
Yes Mexican Pearls, perhaps in the extreme dried state to be worn around women's necks as neclaces and on fine engagement rings.........Mother of Mexican gun grips for Obama Gun Runner, but that would take some might big Mexican nostrils and boogers for that rare artistic expression.
Boogercome joins the ranks of all the other human delicacies all from the mind of Lame Cherry in exclusive matter anti matter.
agtG
